The Barela Family

You know when you don’t think you can take anymore, and then it comes on even stronger? Yeah, that.

This past week has been another series of events that I never would have put together in my wildest of dreams.

My parents came to visit. It was going to be a nice, long visit ending with them cheering Brian and I on at the Miami marathon this Sunday. I was looking forward to having them here, not rushing the visit, inviting them into our everyday lives that they miss so much and that we miss sharing with them.

Well our plans aren’t always the same as God’s.

After only a short visit of maybe 36 hours we got a phone call that my Grandpa had taken a fall and was not in good condition. The next call that came told us that he passed away. My dad and mom were here and they learned this over the phone, sitting on our couch. Several hours later they were back in the car returning home in disbelief and with heavy hearts. I had lost another grandparent.

You see, just 3 months ago my mom was visiting and after only 36 hours of her arrival she got a phone call while sitting on our couch that her dad, my other grandpa was being life flighted and taken into emergency surgery. Sadly, he did not make it through the surgery. She quickly returned home in disbelief and with a heavy heart. What? My grandpa was gone? But, I wasn’t ready for this. We had just said goodbye to my grandma exactly a year earlier.

I have a felt a lot of feelings and emotions this last week. Mostly sadness because this all just isn’t what I planned. It’s not what any of us planned. But God never promised He would steer me away from a whole bunch of crappy situations. He did promise He would never let me go. He will carry me through. He will stand on my behalf. He will be strong in my weakness. He will take on my burdens.

Even in these hard, crappy situations God has shown up. With flowers being delivered, texts and phone calls, and a dear friend flying down last minute to help and bless us in the most tangible way. Even when I don’t have the words, when I feel emotionally dead He has been here for me, for my family, for all of us trying to make sense of this.

He is forever faithful.

I will not be moved.

The last couple of years I have been in the practice of choosing a word for the year to focus on, to live out and practice in my everyday life. This year I almost didn’t because I’ll be honest, I don’t know if I successfully accomplished my 2014 word- Trust. There were plenty of days that I did not trust God and what He was doing. But there were many days that trust in Him was the only thing that got me through the day. It’s not about perfection but the journey and God definitely took me on a journey of trust in 2014.

So I am jumping back in with a new word for 2015- faithful.

This past year has been one of the hardest years we’ve experienced as a family. Trial after trial, death, sickness, discouragement, loneliness, fear and hurt. But in those hard, ugly, very real moments I saw God’s faithfulness. He showed up time and time again. He redeemed hard days, with unexpected blessings. He answered prayers unmeasurably more than I could ask for. Sad moments were followed by moments of laughter that surprised us all. He was faithful and I want to hold on to that.

Let us hold unswervingly to the hope

we profess, for he who promised is faithful.

Hebrews 10:23

I read the verse above and I just picture myself holding onto the back of a semi truck’s bumper by the grit of my fingernails as it fishtails down the freeway at an exceedingly high speed. This way and that way I sway, barely hanging on, not knowing which direction is coming next. But…I am hanging on and determined to not let go. He who has promised me so many things is faithful. And by His grace I strive to be faithful to the calling He has given me. To walk humbly with Him, to serve and love my family well and love others as He does.

I have to choose to believe He is faithful because really,

in my eyes there is no other choice. 

This song below describes this all too well. Hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

Happy New Year friends!

Today is my 37th birthday. Hard to believe. On one hand I still feel like I’m a kid just pretending to do this adult stuff because I can’t possibly be old enough to do this for real. And then on the other hand life at 37 feels very real.

How is it when you are in high school and college you think you know everything and you have it all worked out. Then as you get older and have actually experienced life, have been bumped and bruised along the way you see you really don’t know much at all?

So yeah, I definitely think I know a lot less than I used to but I have learned or am learning a couple things …

1. Even when I think I have it all figured out, I don’t. So I don’t even think it.
2. I’ve learned to be brave. To try and do hard things because it is always worth it and I won’t regret it.
3. A smile and a kind word goes a long way and I do my best to go out of my way to do it everyday.
4. Everyone has hard stuff going on. We all need lots of love and grace.
5. I pretty much have done ALL of the things I said would never do before I was in that particular situation. Therefore, I have learned to keep my mouth shut and just wait my turn because I don’t really know what it’s like until I get there.
6. There are still days I am in awe that I have 3 little people to mold, shape and take care of. It’s sucks the life out of me one minute and fills me up the next. Being a mom is no joke.
7. It’s okay to take a leap of faith when I don’t have all the answers. It’s called trust.
8. I need lots of sleep, good, healthy food and exercise to function well. In other words I can no longer run on little sleep and lots of caffeine.
9. Marriage takes hard work to make it good. But it just keeps getting better.
10. My need for Jesus each and every moment.

I am thankful for where I am at right now on this crazy ride God has me on, with the people I have in my life near and far and for all that is to come. Because I know it’s going to be good, I am going to grow and learn and most importantly God is in control.

Here’s to another year of brave flying.