As a mom one of the hardest things I am learning right now is letting go and letting my kids do their own thing. Even if it is different than what I might choose. Gasp! I know, you mean these people that I had a hand in making are not little clones of me and don’t think and act and see things exactly the way I do? No. Sadly they don’t. Because then that is when there is friction and tension and messiness. And I don’t really like that stuff. But you know what I am seeing? There is also independence and individuality being born. They are figuring out their style, their like and dislikes, learning from their mistakes and growing. They are becoming brave as they step out from me and go out on their own. Oh, it’s hard to let go. It’s hard to see them fail and hard to see disappointment. And if I am honest it’s hard when they think differently than me. But even better is teaching them to get back up and push them back out there. It’s worth the messiness when you see the boldness that comes from within their hearts as they figure things out and start to figure out who they are- uniquely made for amazing things designed by God. Oh I can’t wait to see what’s in store for each of our kids. I pray for continued boldness and bravery for all of us as we grow together. And that maybe, just maybe one them will ere on the side of their mama.

My attempt each morning is have a smooth, rather quiet, efficiently run and encouraging time before we all go our separate ways. Does this always happen?

Well, no. Maybe 50% of the time. And that is being generous.

I like to pack lunches the night before but sometimes as soon as the kids go to bed I basically fall over onto the couch in sheer exhaustion. Which leads to random throwing of food items into lunch bags in the morning. And then I hear about it later from the little people.

I like to get up way early and work out and shower and be ready for the day before I wake the kids. Sometimes I’m running late and I have little sleepy eyed greeters while I am still showering. So nice.

I like to have a quiet time by myself without the many questions of the day already starting before 6:30 am. But sometimes they are up and the words just can’t possibly stay in their mouths any longer.

I like to have a little devotional while the kids eat breakfast and we just take a moment together before the day starts. But there are times when no one is listening and I’m reading to no one, someone has to go poop in the middle of reading or it just doesn’t happen at all.

I like to have a morning when we all casually make our way to the car with smiles on our faces and everyone seemed to know exactly where their shoes are. But there are mornings when I am pushing people out the door with their shoes in their hands.

Yes, my goal is to set our family up well for the day with a peaceful, easy morning. But reality is there are usually tears from someone, there are times we are running late, breakfast and shoes are in hand while we pile into the car and everyone is NOT smiling.

Doesn’t matter. We take a deep breath. We pray as we take the 5 min drive to school and we try again tomorrow. These little people count on me to help them navigate through this world. It’s crazy, wild, sometimes scary and disappointing but I want them to know that no matter what we have each other, tomorrow is a new day and we will be ok. We are doing the best we can, with what we have, where we are at.

So whatever kind of morning you had, I encourage you to keep going. Don’t give up, because what you are doing makes a difference.

The flu decided to hit our kiddos over break. First was Kaia on our little getaway to Orlando. Yep, the flu in a hotel. Not where I would choose to deal with the flu but we made it and still had a great time. Thankfully she is such a trooper and hardly complained. A week later on New Year’s Eve Mase came down with it. Same deal. I’ll spare you all the details. You are welcome. We actually had plans (rare for us these days) to attend a family NYE party that we were really looking forward to. Instead it was just the five us, kids in bed by 8, dessert and movie for the Mr. and I and we were in bed by 10. Party animals, I know. But you know what, I loved it. And then Theia wanted her share of the action. She hates to be left out. Round 3 of fever, up all night, the whole 9 yards. I was tempted to get discouraged, tempted to complain. I just didn’t know if I could handle it one more time. But as I was all cuddled up with Theia’s hot little body clinging to me last night as we sat on the bathroom floor I realized there really isn’t anything else I would rather be doing. My little girl needs me, the same as the other two did and I can help them. The days when a cuddle and snuggle is all they want are fewer and fewer as they get older. Especially from my big boy. Daddy is top on the list for him, I’ve dropped a notch for sure. Truth be told I hate to see our kids sick but if I get to sit and snuggle with them then I’ll take it.

These are the days. The messy wrapped up in with good and mushy. Everything else can stop because it is more than worth it. Another day on the couch for us it is! And here’s to praying that Brian and I somehow miss this flu bug because I don’t think anyone is going to cuddle me!